scent
by faith5bye5
Summary: So much of Severus' life is kept private. IT IS INVARIABLY WITH GOOD REASON. Lupin senses a change in Severus during an Order meeting. he makes the mistake of commenting, & moody takes advantage. dramatic. must be read til end.


SCENT

Lupin smiled wearily as Molly offered him tea and moved to serve the other Order members sitting comfortably arranged around the kitchen table at Grimauld Place.

Sirius was grinning uninhibitedly across the table at him. The pair had not seen one another since Remus' posting in Scotland to investigate the disappearance of two young wizards, both firm allies of Dumbledore. Remus was aware that Sirius had deeply resented his solitary confinement in the old house during Remus' absence.

Remus smiled back at his friend.

Moody, Shacklebolt, Tonks, Arthur and Dumbledore were also present in the warm kitchen, talking casually in anticipation of their meeting. As Molly assumed her seat at Arthur's side, looking up at the clock, Dumbledore cleared his throat and got to his feet, preparing to begin the meeting with only the present company.

He had barely spoken his greeting before the door from the hallway swung open and the haggard, black-clad figure of Severus Snape entered silently, moving from the shadows into the room with a dignified stoop of apology to Dumbledore. His appearance was met with discreet discomfort or resigned annoyance from the majority of the Order members, as he completed their expected number and settled, without choice, into the only remaining chair, beside Remus.

Sirius glared bitterly at his old enemy, but Severus' depthless gaze rested unfocusedly on the table as he folded his hands gently across his stomach and sank into the chair, seemingly unaware of his observer.

Remus listened distractedly to Dumbledore's familiar welcoming speech, and embraced the genial appreciation he felt at having returned safely to these comforting, intimate surroundings. He let himself watch Snape's subtle movements from the corner of an eye.

Severus Snape. An unswerving constant in Remus' turbulent world.

Remus met the taller man's presence and close proximity with a smile he could not smother. He realised with amusement, that he had missed the forcedly enlisted company of this thin, distant, impersonal man. Indeed, Severus always held an odd, yet enduring position in Remus' life, Remus recognised that he had in himself an unexplainable fondness for this unapproachable, eccentric and unobtrusive character.

With a nostalgic wistfulness, Remus again experienced the deep, familiar wrench of regret inside him, over his past discrepancies with Severus Snape. Remus might once have had the right to engage this man in _friendship_, but as their inevitable relationship stood…

Remus' smile softened pensively. Severus seemed quiet.

His fallen, hunched shoulders and lack of focus showed a submissiveness unusual of the man. His gaze was as characteristically intense as ever, but there was a lucidity to it, and to his expression which Remus found disquieting. Severus' sharp features were normally lined by some internal debate, or in contradicting another's standpoint.

This current blank…_loss_… of everything, marked something private within Severus Snape that Lupin's curious thoughts could not come close to unearthing.

Lupin turned his attention to Kingsley Shacklebolt as the man stood to give his report on the recent disturbances in the Department of Mysteries. Remus listened respectfully, but his mind flickered internally, and he had a hyper awareness of Snape's behaviour beside him. Remus was intrigued. Something had changed; something was different about Severus tonight and he could not quite identify what.

Severus shifted subtly, probably to alleviate discomfort in his back. He was extremely tall after all, and he undoubtedly led a rough life. At Severus' slight movement, Remus caught a peculiar scent in the air; a false, flowery scent that was sweet and quite incompatible with Severus' usual aroma of cauldron smoke and burning components.

A smile crept across Remus' face as he realised the significance of this rare scent. He could think of little but its implications for Severus during Minerva's entire progress report, and indeed as Severus himself stood and delivered his short, precise account of his most recent discoveries with regards to the Death Eaters' plans, Remus felt a slight smile playing inappropriately at the corners of his lips.

As Severus sat quietly, Dumbledore rose heavily to his feet. "Excellent. Thank you all. I now need to speak with Sirius on a somewhat sensitive subject, and so I ask that you remain for a moment whilst we converse in the hall." The Headmaster gestured gently to Sirius, who nodded and rose, accompanying him outside.

There was a general sigh and shuffle of feet as the Order relaxed and began silently processed the information that they had just received.

Remus turned to look sideways at Severus, as the man silently closed his eyes and sank his head wearily into both hands.

"Severus," Remus began slyly, attempting to hide his great amusement, "where have you been?"

Severus frowned faintly, raising his head, confused by Remus' behaviour. At the man's delighted grin, he found himself hesitating in distaste.

"Lupin, I have just imparted all the necessary details of the Dark Lord's latest intentions, as of the summons that I returned from not half an hour ago. You would certainly have been given to understand this had you in fact been _following_ proceedings."

Remus tilted his head in slight embarrassment, begrudging Severus' sardonic reply, and reiterating his point jovially, "_No_… I meant whose perfume is on your robes?"

Remus' grin spread wider at the look of shock that flickered across Severus' face. His question had apparently been rather loud, for other members of the Order looked up from the table in surprise at this unexpected conjecture.

Severus' dark eyes darted fleetingly between the faces, seeming almost intimidated by this sudden audience.

"I have been _nowhere_ else, you fool. You are mistaken." Severus' defiant voice was dangerously low, and hoarse with indignation as he left the table, making defensively towards the door, and towards Dumbledore.

"Severus!" Remus protested, rising to follow his mark, incredulous at the other man's blatant denial, "I can smell her scent on your robes, who is she?"

The man turned in outrage. "How dare you ask me again? I tell you I have done _nothing_ but attend the summons as demanded by the Order!"

The door swung open at the violent shouting and Dumbledore stood in the frame with Sirius peering animatedly over his shoulder.

Severus' black eyes thrashed threateningly, fixed fiercely on Remus, who felt a strange sense of exhilaration at verbally sparring with this powerful, elusive man.

"Severus," Remus reprimanded indulgently, backing the other man into the wall, "if you don't want to _tell_ me who she is, that's perfectly fine, but there's no need to lie about her."

"Lie about- ! As if I would risk my credibility in this circle on so _absurd_ an accusation…"

Severus' eyes fled over Remus' shoulder towards Dumbledore for support, but the Headmaster's eyes seemed to twinkle with hope and fondness.

"Severus, there is no shame in having a source of comfort. You endure so much, my child. Nothing would make me happier than to see you find somebody who can offer you strength and devotion."

"Sir! How can you doubt my word…" Severus shook his head furiously, devastated at the betrayal.

Remus reached out to place a comforting hand on Snape's arm, fully prepared to drop the subject, but was forced sideways as the bulky figure of Moody barged into Snape's personal space. At the Auror's twisted, menacing leer, Remus watched Severus flinch and lower his dark eyes, hiding his distress.

"Ah, Severus." Moody purred, taking every effort to make the frailer man uncomfortable with his lecherous smirk and confrontational stance. "Always so aloof; always playin' the martyr, and now we finally discover this little act does a number on the ladies, eh? S'alright, Snape – we _understand_ – being in you knowwho's presence a bit of a turn on for you, is it?"

Remus winced, frowning in distaste along with most of the Order. It was widely realised that Moody gained a malicious sort of enjoyment from torturing Severus, and it had not been Remus' intent to provide him with such an opportunity. "Perhaps… I was mistaken in my detection, Moody."

Severus was just staring at the Auror; his face was contorted in a desperate attempt to disguise hurt with loathing, but his vulnerability was evident in the rigid lines of his emaciated body.

"You know you were not, Remus." Moody sneered unpleasantly over his shoulder. "What have you to _say_, Snape?"

There was a lingering pause.

"You disgust me, _Moody_."

Moody exclaimed viciously, "**I** disgust _you_?-"

"_Yes_, Moody," Severus snarled in immediate retort, "**you** disgust _me_ – and imagine what that _takes_, given the life I have led!"

Moody simply grinned unpleasantly. Snape's eyes hardened, and became almost empty with resigned loathing.

"Are you proud, Moody?" It was almost a whisper. "To have such an effect? At least you aren't losing your touch; just as monstrous now as you ever w- "

"_SILENCI_-"

"-PROTEGO!"

Every member of the Order was on their feet as Severus blocked Moody's attack.

Severus' enraged roar faded into a manic grimace, as he hissed in a hoarse rush, "Oh _yes_, Moody - **_I_** know people on the other side of the spectrum; people you've met in _dark_ rooms, where your actions have no limitations. You are _misplaced_ in so many of your prejudices, and hypocritical in the rest!"

"Snapeyou_ son of a_-"

"-You've done things to the prisoners in your care that are **unheard** of in all circles of humane _dignity_ and I- !"

"**SEVERUS**!"

A violent shudder overcame the man's stricken body as Dumbledore's bellow resounded, and Severus fell silent immediately shrinking away until he met the wall.

Moody glared at the thin man's lowered head with consuming abhorrence, but Severus neither raised his eyes to meet _his_, nor lowered himself to apologise.

A shiver ran down Remus' neck at the tension-fraught atmosphere that now shrouded the room, and he ran a hand over the back of his neck, enormously regretting having ever challenged Snape, on even the most trivial level. He hadn't bargained on Moody taking advantage of the situation, forcing Severus to exhibit his spectacularly adept defensive streak.

Remus shook his head despairingly. "I'm sorry, Severus. All I wanted to know was-"

"You wanted to know _why_ you smell a woman on me." Severus said; he sounded defeated and withdrawn. "Do you still want to know?"

Nobody moved. Not one member of the Order could deny that they were still curious, if not more so, in the aftermath of Snape's outburst. Remus was thinking that there were now a few questions he would like _Moody_ to answer.

"It's not our business, Severus, if you do not want to tell- "

"Remus! He has to tell us, if he's goin' to be allowed to make such a bleedin' _fuss_ out of it!" Sirius protested angrily, ducking past Dumbledore to enter the room at last. "Besides, I'm not sure it's bloody wise for him to be on intimate terms with… well, with _anyone_ on account o' decency, but especially not wiv' someone outside the Order! I mean look at us! We none of us risk the attachment with the un-indoctrinated; it just isn't safe; it makes us vulnerable. 'Makes us all vulnerable. And it strikes _me_ that Snape already poses the biggest threat to us-"

"Sirius is right; he's our spy. We've got a right to know these things." Moody intervened again, sneering at Severus. "Can't keep makin' out that we trust you, Snape, if you 'en't goin' to give us all the information!"

"Your concerns are unfounded." Severus pushed himself off the wall with his shoulder and made for the door, keeping his eyes down; hidden. "She is no threat to any of you."

"See! He bloody lied; he didn't come here from You-Know-Who's summons at all!" Moody raved.

Sirius darted to intercept Severus before he could reach the exit. "How can we be sure?"

"Because she was dead."

Silence fell upon the room which had been buzzing with mutterings just moments before.

Remus closed his eyes in horror, shocked at the revelation that his impertinent, childish inference had forced Severus to impart. "Oh, Merlin." He murmured inaudibly.

"Urgh," Sirius grimaced, in disgust, after a pensive pause, "Bloody hell, Snape, tell me this isn't some illegal fetish of yours-"

"SIRIUS, SHUT UP!" Remus shouted with uncharacteristic violence.

Sirius fell silent, taken aback.

All eyes were on Severus.

"She was… nothing to me. I carried her mangled body. I buried her. She was a young muggle; they killed her during the meeting. I never knew her name." Snape raised his eyes as Sirius' movements caught his attention, and the expression in them morphed from misery to loathing, "And she certainly never knew _mine_, or even that I existed, _Sirius_, so you can stop fretting about your own damn safety for once."

Remus moved closer to Severus, and placed a hand on his shoulder from behind. "Severus, I'm sorr-"

Severus turned, snatching Remus' hand from his body and holding it uncomfortably tight, suspended in the air between them.

"Do not enquire into my private life again, Remus. In my reports I give all the information I acquire that is significant or useful to the cause, without exception. Anything I do not divulge is omitted with good reason. And with your _blessing_, I would prefer at least a few moments of my life to remain private."

* * *

End. 

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